Student Teaching - Day 45

Sorry to disappoint, but videos will be rare from here on out.  Student teaching is taking up a lot of my energy and free time.  I don't think I will survive.

It's not that the kids are wearing me out or anything.  In fact, they are really great kids.  They rarely misbehave, and when they do it is usually because they are flirting with each other.

No, it's the wedding planning and being away from my fiance that are killing me.  Every day, I go to school and I teach and give and am selfless, and then by the time I get home, I have tons of emails, texts, phone calls and errands to run for the wedding planning.  Then of course, I want to take time to talk to my fiance, so by the time everything is in a stable condition (No! Not crossed off the to-do list!  Just in a manageable place!) I get to go to sleep and wake up and do it all over again. 

I have no idea how teachers have a life outside of their jobs.  I feel like I could always be tweaking and improving my instruction methods and course ideas.  Or grading.  Or building better student-teacher relationships. Or contacting parents.  Or brainstorming with other teachers.  There is just so much to do and so little time to do it!

So many days I send my students out of class and I wonder, did I really teach them anything?  What did they get out of today's lesson?  Do they feel that the work they are doing is important for their success in life, like I do?

Luckily, these questions don't keep me up at night.  Nothing does!  I'm too tired to think, I usually just collapse at the end of the day.  I can't keep this up forever, but I feel like it is worth it to pour my heart into my teaching and do my really best.  The good news is there are only 20 days left!  I hope I use them well!

New Song?

After getting the inspiration for the lyrics below, I have come to realize that my creativity is most inspired by strong emotions.  While I wish I was inspired with happy, positive emotions as I sat in Relief Society, unfortunately, on this day, I was inspired with some pretty harsh thoughts.  I'd like some feedback on the lyrics to my potential song, so feel free to comment below.

Human Hypocrites

Sitting here in this hard, cold chair,
I'm listening to you preach
I'm listening to you teach me how to be "better."
But you fail to understand my context.
I feel like you can't see my past
and can't ever get my reasons
for the choices I've made.
The choices you're preaching against.


Aren't we all hypocrites?
Don't we all fail to reach our pure ideals?
Don't we all say things we don't mean at least sometimes?
Don't we all do things we regret later?
Aren't we all human?
Aren't we all hypocrites?

The good news is that we can keep trying.
God doesn't give up on us.
He made us into humans
and he made a way for us to fix our mistakes.

Someday we won't all be
frail and fragile humans.
Someday we won't all be
hypocrites.
But today is not that day.

Today I am a hypocrite.
Today I'm feeling human
and all I need is
for you to stop your talking
And put your arms around me
And love me like
I am perfect.

Because aren't we all hypocrites?
Don't we all fail to reach our pure ideals?
Don't we all say things we don't mean at least sometimes?
Don't we all do things we regret later?
Aren't we all human?
Aren't we all hypocrites?

 I don't have the music down on paper yet.  But I could hear it.  For years I've wanted to write lyrics to songs and the lyrics finally came to me WITH the music this time.  It's a first and something I feel is worth celebrating.  Wahoo!  The music sounded like Alanis Morissette mixed with Mindy Gledhill.  It was spiritual and yearning and somewhat calm, but with the undertones of a jaded and hurt person.  I've never wished I could play the piano so badly because if I could, I felt like I may have been able to play the chords and hear where the song was going.  Hopefully, I can learn the piano soon and start to write more songs!