I'm feeling very forgotten. Like I'm the cell phone that was left on the nightstand. No one likes to be without their cell phone. And I think the world should not like to be without me.
I'm feeling very misplaced. Like I'm the red sock mixed in with all the white socks. No one wants a red sock in their white sock laundry. And I feel like no one wants me.
I wish I felt more passion. Like I was the pinapple in your chinese sweet and sour chicken.
I wish I felt more connected. Like I was the shirt on the laundry line, unique from all the rest, but feeling the same breeze between my sleeves.
I wish I'd fall in love. Like I could be the vine aching for the sun to warm the fuzz on my leaves and longing for my love through the cold, dark nights.
Now, I'm feeling more myself. Like I am the ocean, who doesn't force the waves to beat rythmically on the sand, nor concentrate hard to blow the wind, it simply is the water, the waves, the wind, and the sand moving together to be the sea.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Friday, August 10, 2007
I’ve been here for 2 months and six days -- and I’m still loving it!
I didn't know how sick I was when I got here until Tessas's birthday on July 25th. We spent all day making her day a great one. We went to the beauty parlor -- which was an expereience that I'll never forget. In a foreign country they have different standards about cleanliness and such, so I should have known that being in a beauty parlor would give me the same queezy feeling. The lady who did my hair had no idea what she was doing and I ended up looking like the beast in Beauty and the Beast -- my hair was in tight curls and ratted out to this poofy, goofy looking mess. Anyways, we also went to see a movie and we went and got Chinese food at night. And the next day, I was exhausted. I was so tired and sick that I didn't even want to get out of bed. My dad kept saying, "You're sick, Angela. And you don't even know it." And after that day, I knew he was right. So right away we started working on my health. We started with vitamins and green drinks. And are now including excersise and meditation in my schedule. It's all working to create a better me!
I feel better than I ever have. I feel as good as I did before I got mono freshman year! I'm taking lots of vitamins and they're making me feel so much better, I can't even explain it. You'd have to feel it to understand. I'm taking Iron, Fish oil, Vitamin E, Vitamin B, and a few other things that I'm not sure of what they are, but my dad does. He's such a genius at nutrition, it's amazing! I want everyone to benefit like I am from all the positive attention I'm getting. It feels so good to be around people who not only love you, but are committed to helping you do what is the very best for you. I wish everyone of my friends could feel this too.
I've also been reading The Economist, which is an economic magazine, with my dad and he's helping me to learn some vital things about the people who control the world economy and how they control it. It's so interesting. This knowledge is making me want to change everything I was doing wrong to do what is better. I understand so much more about the world than I did a few months ago. I feel foolish that I thought I knew everything. There's so much about what's happening in the world that people don't know about. And it's stuff that if they knew, they wouldn't want to do everything the media tells them to do. It makes me so sad that such a small amount of people control billions of lives. It's deep stuff I'm working on now. Wish I could explain it all.
Life in the UAE is very different, but also very similar. It's odd because in the grocery stores, you can still get western products, but the supply chains are fickle, so you might only see them one or two weeks out of a month. And if it's gone in one store, it's probably gone in all of them. It's really weird seeing how my family is so adjusted to the way things are here. The city itself is a mixture of really beautiful, streamlined buildings on the waterfront, and some very retro 70's mod kind of run down buildings on the streets farther from the shore-line. They start construction on buildings all the time. And they demolish buildings all the time too. The problem is that they don't plan ahead and include parking in any of them. So you have all these tall residential buildings that have store fronts on the street level. And everyone who is living in these buildings has to fight for parking on these little tiny back roads (that are 2 lanes wide) behind and between the buildings. People park in the middle of the street! And they are always honking their horns, it's so annoying! Luckily, we take taxies everywhere, so we don't have to worry about where to park, but it makes it impossible to own a car in the city.
Other than the street life, it's very quiet here. No one really bothers us. I spend most of my days teaching Dallas about music and helping him improve his handwritting -- summer time is a time for him to improve in his schooling, so I do what I can to help out. When I'm not teaching, I'm exercising or up at the pool improving my tan -- yeah! I'm getting blonder from the sun, too! I am really enjoying spending time with my family every day. Their love has helped me to blossom again. I smile more than I cry now. I'm happier than I've been in years. I'm only sad when I get concerned about the future or when I miss Anthonie and wish that he was able to see these changes in me and benefit too.
Speaking of Anthonie, our relationship is getting stronger and stronger. We chat on-line every other day and try to talk on the phone once or twice a week. It's been a challenging experience for us to be apart becuase we loved doing everything together, but now we're both used to doing things independantly again. We're hopeful that we'll be able to get together soon and in the meantime are focusing on becoming better people so that our relationship will benefit even more.
Besides all of that, life in the UAE is like life any where else. At the end of the day, no matter where in the world you are, you are still with yourself and making changes all depends on you. I'm so happy that God has blessed my life and allowed me these beautiful opportunites to grow and learn. I hope that I'll always live so that He can bless me more.
I feel better than I ever have. I feel as good as I did before I got mono freshman year! I'm taking lots of vitamins and they're making me feel so much better, I can't even explain it. You'd have to feel it to understand. I'm taking Iron, Fish oil, Vitamin E, Vitamin B, and a few other things that I'm not sure of what they are, but my dad does. He's such a genius at nutrition, it's amazing! I want everyone to benefit like I am from all the positive attention I'm getting. It feels so good to be around people who not only love you, but are committed to helping you do what is the very best for you. I wish everyone of my friends could feel this too.
I've also been reading The Economist, which is an economic magazine, with my dad and he's helping me to learn some vital things about the people who control the world economy and how they control it. It's so interesting. This knowledge is making me want to change everything I was doing wrong to do what is better. I understand so much more about the world than I did a few months ago. I feel foolish that I thought I knew everything. There's so much about what's happening in the world that people don't know about. And it's stuff that if they knew, they wouldn't want to do everything the media tells them to do. It makes me so sad that such a small amount of people control billions of lives. It's deep stuff I'm working on now. Wish I could explain it all.
Life in the UAE is very different, but also very similar. It's odd because in the grocery stores, you can still get western products, but the supply chains are fickle, so you might only see them one or two weeks out of a month. And if it's gone in one store, it's probably gone in all of them. It's really weird seeing how my family is so adjusted to the way things are here. The city itself is a mixture of really beautiful, streamlined buildings on the waterfront, and some very retro 70's mod kind of run down buildings on the streets farther from the shore-line. They start construction on buildings all the time. And they demolish buildings all the time too. The problem is that they don't plan ahead and include parking in any of them. So you have all these tall residential buildings that have store fronts on the street level. And everyone who is living in these buildings has to fight for parking on these little tiny back roads (that are 2 lanes wide) behind and between the buildings. People park in the middle of the street! And they are always honking their horns, it's so annoying! Luckily, we take taxies everywhere, so we don't have to worry about where to park, but it makes it impossible to own a car in the city.
Other than the street life, it's very quiet here. No one really bothers us. I spend most of my days teaching Dallas about music and helping him improve his handwritting -- summer time is a time for him to improve in his schooling, so I do what I can to help out. When I'm not teaching, I'm exercising or up at the pool improving my tan -- yeah! I'm getting blonder from the sun, too! I am really enjoying spending time with my family every day. Their love has helped me to blossom again. I smile more than I cry now. I'm happier than I've been in years. I'm only sad when I get concerned about the future or when I miss Anthonie and wish that he was able to see these changes in me and benefit too.
Speaking of Anthonie, our relationship is getting stronger and stronger. We chat on-line every other day and try to talk on the phone once or twice a week. It's been a challenging experience for us to be apart becuase we loved doing everything together, but now we're both used to doing things independantly again. We're hopeful that we'll be able to get together soon and in the meantime are focusing on becoming better people so that our relationship will benefit even more.
Besides all of that, life in the UAE is like life any where else. At the end of the day, no matter where in the world you are, you are still with yourself and making changes all depends on you. I'm so happy that God has blessed my life and allowed me these beautiful opportunites to grow and learn. I hope that I'll always live so that He can bless me more.
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